All of this happened and it was amazing. Tim gets bitches. All day. Errday.
Okay, so… I’m at Starbucks. And I’m talking to my friend, China, because Saadia got up and went to the bathroom. And I comment on how China’s always treated differently than everyone else because everyone treats her like a goddess, when suddenly…
A barista leans over and goes, “Sir, would you like a free vanilla latte?”
I looked at her in disbelief, and took it, thanking her. When she was gone, I started to sing “Bohemian Rhapsody” out loud.
This is the best day ever.
(also that girl was hella thirsty because when she asked she winked at me and started rubbing her crotch while pretending to make moaning noises then she tore her shirt off and jumped on me and it got a little PG-13 up in that piece)